Last night Holly broke her cell phone (I am ALMOST sure it was on purpose, she hated that phone). David broke his probably the first week he had a phone and it hasn't worked the same since. So today we took a break from work to go get Holly and David cell phones. Now, we had insurance on David's phone and the deductible would be $40 and none on Holly's since it was the cheap free phone. Holly decided to buy herself this phone for a small fortune of $120.00.

David on the other hand decided that he doesn't want the same phone (which is what the insurance company would make him get) and he wants to wait until his contract is up or I find him a phone on Ebay. That's great BUT I can't find any good phones with the features he wants on Ebay for anything short of a small fortune! SO...here I am up late looking at phones for no reason except that I REALLY want him to have a good phone So I can talk to him!

Which phone do I buy????? I have NO idea and he doesn't want a PDA or Smartphone, don't even go there, he just figured out how to text!

-VS-

This is the before picture...do you think it still looks like this? Wish we knew?

We were planning on taking the kids to Disneyland this coming Monday as a surprise. We have been promising Kelly to go forever since she doesn't remember going with us when we were proud owners of passes. Proud, did I say that....remember I am not fond of roller coasters, rides or anything that leaves the ground for that matter. Not a huge fan of crowds either. But, I promised to give her a day to experience the "Magic!"
Now, with the fires and the possibility of losing our cabin we are not sure we really want to do the Disneyland thing and David is chomping at the bit to get up the mountain. Either one just doesn't sound like fun but choosing is coming sooner than later.
I am thinking a day at a Spa....sounds great! Was that one of the choices?

Holly has done the "boyfriend" thing before. We weren't crazy about the idea, not so crazy about the boy either. We were pleased (don't tell her) when that "relationship" found it's way to being OVER! She even stated that she loved being single (she's 17...ha) and we were definitely OK with that!
Then she met another boy, she has actually known him for about a year. Super nice boy, sweet, kind, polite, all the things we didn't get with the "last" boy. They both have hearts in the same place for ministry, for God, and they both seem to have lots in common. When he asked her to homecoming, she was so excited and didn't stop giggling for a day.
Yesterday I came home early because they were out of school, my back was out and just wanted to be with them.
I pulled into the garage to see "the new boy," Holly, Kelly and Kelly's little friend standing on the front porch behind a mass of teal balloons (which is the color they have chosen for homecoming). I was on the phone with a friend and quickly told him that I needed to hang up and see what was going on. Turns out this was a huge bouquet of balloons used to ask Holly if she would be "his girl!" He even got my neighbor Brian to help him get Holly outside to ask her since the HUGE bouquet wouldn't quite make it to the door without popping! (it is now MUCH smaller because of this very reason)!
So...here we go again...Holly has a "new boy" in her life and we really like this one, but then again they are both 17 and looking to go away to school...so how long with this last? Doesn't matter, it's still VERY cute!

PS. I tried to take pics with my phone but they won't send to my email and David had the camera! SORRY!

We just want to say "THANK YOU" to ALL those who have called, text, commented, emailed, etc about our cabin! Thank you for your prayers, support and offers to help! Amazing all our friends are! We are SO appreciative! I can't wait to send pictures of a cabin still standing (ok, hopeful thinking) or even an empty lot to all those who have prayed for us including the pastors at our church! We are feeling the support and still walking around with smiles on ALL our faces! THANKS FROM THE DEEPEST PARTS OF OUR FAMILIES HEARTS!

PS...I will blog about Holly's happiness soon! SO CUTE!

The update on our cabin is we are PRETTY sure we don't have one anymore. The fire ran through our town not once but twice! IF we were spared it would be a miracle! We aren't really talking about it much until we can make it up there. We had plans to take the kids to Disneyland on Monday but it's looking like we are making a trip up the mountain to shed some tears, go through the rubble and take care of business. I dread the tears my husband and kids will shed. They will shed them for the memories for the thankfulness we are ALL rejoicing in knowing that we weren't there during these fires. We will shed tears for the people who have truly lost their residences and places they live year round. It's sad, no doubt but TRULY we have SO much to be thankful for! We are here, we love each other like no one can imagine, we need to be together to hold this time of thankfulness. We are thankful for our friends and those who have prayed with us and for us, we are thankful for the people who have walked beside us and just shared a moment of understanding with us. We are just truly THANKFUL!
We were lucky to have our kids home from school today (thank you district for making that decision)! My kids played, worked for the firefighters, Holly was delivered a bouquet of balloons from someone who is thankful for her, it's been a great day to rejoice in being a family!
So, that is ALl we know now! We continue to pray and walk beside the firefighters, the people who have been evacuated, the people who are taking the time out of their busy and filled lives to help others when it would be easy to continue their lives and ignore what is going on! It's been a GREAT life lesson for ALL of our kids!

It happened...we are ALMOST sure that our cabin in Arrowbear is no longer standing. I waver back and forth today between being OK with it and being really sad for my kids and husband. I can't say it's been my favorite place to go, but we have SO many memories of my kids there. It's been a LOT of work for me but again A LOT of memories.
We won't know for sure if it stands until we can actually get in our car and drive up the hill but right now that isn't happening. As of now, we wait and try to explain to our children how thankful we are for the memories and that we weren't there and locked in a firestorm.
It made me think about what I am thankful for and what I would take if it were my home here. I am SO thankful for the memories, too many to tell, the growth my kids gained in confidence in skiing, snowball throwing, and cuddles by the fire.The memories of many, many friends joining us there for some great fellowship and fun! I wouldn't TAKE ANYTHING from there except the memories.
From our home here...I would take the pictures of my wedding, and my kids! That's it. David would take the important papers...thank GOD for a man who can think straight as my heart is heavy, sad and thankful ALL AT THE SAME TIME!

One minute it was quiet, (if that is what you call sitting at my desk in the facility office)! The next we see this and chaos erupts...boys LOVE fire! Why, I don't know but for the next 2 hours it's been the talk of the night...so here is what my REALLY bad Treo camera wants to share with you:







These were taken from the new Pedestrian Bridge at Saddleback Church at 6:28pm tonight!

Then what I really realized is FIRE makes BOYS (and MEN) really hungry! We had an array of visitors come visit us in the kitchen (some of which we were super happy to see...Randy, Josh G (and friend Larry), Holly's new "friend", and many many more! I think the threaten of evacuation and not being able to have a meal scares them! Funny NO girls came a running, just the boys! David and I happily fed them and gave them PLENTY of drinks as not to dehydrate tonight! They left VERY HAPPY!

So, IF you need a place to camp out tonight...you know where to find us! In the meantime pray for our friends who may be out of their homes for real tonight!

Today I had exactly 52 minutes to spare before I had to start picking up kids from school, so what better way to spend it but cruising the new Target in Mission Viejo. It's SUPER nice don't get me wrong. The aisle's and products are faced and looking forward, neat and organized, Starbucks/Pizza Hut area is clean with no straw wrappers lying around and the staff actually smiled (wonder if they are paying more than the other Targets). I seriously thought that Santa would be working at each register (oh yeah, he works at the Huntington Beach store).
So, you are wondering what could I possibly have to complain about, it sounds amazing RIGHT?!?! WRONG...there were NO clearance racks! I LOVE Target clearance, where else can you get the same detergent on clearance that they are selling on the regular shelf with a different label (meaning color change)? I can spend a WHOLE day just browsing clearance aisle's at Target and come home with a brand new candle, fabric softner, and other things I really don't need! I realize it's a new store so where would the clearance come from....make some, it makes me happy! I almost left just to go to another Target but then the clock told me I only had 11 minutes to spare!

PS. If they don't have clearance racks where will I buy Brent's Christmas gift? I got it....Walmart Clearance!

At the end of this month Kristi (for those of you who don't know, she was one of my best friends' who died) would have been 36. 4 years ago she was taken from us, we were given 5 short months to say good-bye. I think about her quite often, not as much as before I regret to admit. Every year on the anniversary of her death and her birthday I think of how I can remember her in a new and special way. Another drive to the cemetary, another walk on that path and bridge leading up to her site, gives way to wishing that I shouldn't have to be making this walk. It's not fair, runs through my thoughts, though I know God had a plan and this was it.

The road of grief is a funny thing … no matter how far out you are from loss, little memories or moments come up and bite you in every now and then. What I feel now is not what I felt then.

So, as her birthday approaches I will try to not get caught up in the grief, I will surround myself with family and friends who are still here living and breathing and loving on our family even though they don't understand the missing piece. I will smile because I have SO much to be thankful for and I will reflect on what Kristi left behind when she touched our lives (all 30 years of touches)!

I got the heads up last night that I had to get Holly home right after school for this, I got a cute giggly (ok, don't tell him I said that) call from her friend Nick today asking me to help him by getting Holly home right after school. Here is what we saw:








SHE SAID "YES!"

I was asked by a great friend to write my story for her book. Now, backing up, I have been a Life Hurts, God's Heals leader for the last couple of years (recovery program for teens in crisis) so that gave me the first opportunity to actually "share" my story as a testimony. The first time I told it, I couldn't REALLY tell it because of the fear of reliving it. The next two times I told it was easier by far and I was able to share a little more detail.
When I was asked I was unsure about how "my story" would "tell." It's not a great story but it ends with LOTS of happiness. I want my story to help and heal other girls especially so I agreed. I felt that God had brought me through to this place and now it was time for me to "use my story." So I did it!
Today I finished, it was so freeing, reliving and it gave me a sense of closure to something I thought I had closed the book on (no pun intended). I am sitting here after sitting in quiet with God knowing I did the right thing for the right reasons. So, pray along with me that my story brings healing to someone else's life and a closure to their own story!

My daughter has a shark for a bodyguard...HER BROTHER! It makes me happy!


I picked Holly and Matt up from school today. I had to run to the store and bank after so they had to go with me. Now here is the conversation getting out of the car, I tried to hold back tears...well, my heart skipped that's for sure!

Mom: So, did he ask you (referring to the guy she was told was going to ask her to homecoming)?
Holly: No, but I am ok with that, I just want to go as friends anyway if we go.
Mom: I love your attitude!
Matt: Who and what are you talking about, Knotts?
Holly: No, but I wish I could tell you but he's your friend (speaking of the freshman's senior friend) and I don't want to make you uncomfortable.
Matt: Holly, if one of my friends hurts you or you are upset with them, you need to tell me, I am here to protect you!
Holly: Thanks, but no, it's not like that.
Matt (walking a little closer and more protective next to Holly): ok, just know I am here and you can tell me when you want to tell me!

(Mom smiles but doesn't let them see...they would roll their eyes...trust me!)

Now, that sounds like a minor quick conversation but to hear the 2 of them engage in actual protective caring conversation is amazing. They used to argue just to argue, they used to not want to be near each other but REALLY Matt has changed and grown up so much this year. He ADORES his sister and only wants the best for her. He looks to her for advice, they talk ALL THE TIME, and I love watching them interact. I am so proud of Matt for taking on the "brother" role for his big sister!

Heart skipping AGAIN....

Just when I thought that my 17 year old was done with "mommy-time" it happened. She came into my room last night and said "mom, I feel like crying, I am not sure why." I know, I know, she is a teenager but this was truly because she has been feeling some losses lately, she has been talking about her future, she is growing up, and she just needed some "mommy-time."
I went into her room, sat on her bed, and just hugged her, talked to her, we laughed a little, and she told me she doesn't like being sad with so much of the unknown. She thought she was losing someone close to her and she was so sad when truly it was a much needed little break and she needed to renew what she had been feeling. She looks at Kelly and it breaks her heart to think they won't be together forever. She LOVES having her brother at school with her again and she is trying to figure out how that plays out with her friends.
I remember being in high school, so much of the unknown plays out in your head! What really matters is she is still little enough to need her mommy once in a while and that melts my heart!

Dear Next Door Neighbor(s) I never know who is living there each week,

You moved in about the same time I did, you seemed friendly. We keep to ourselves, you keep to yourself. I actually prefer it that way since we have very opposite lifestyles, yet I am friendly when I see you. Have I gone out of my way to talk to you? Probably not, I know that isn't very Christian of me. Here are my reasons for not taking the time:

1. You scare me, your temper is loud, mean and horrible. You scream at your "flavor of the month" in such a tone that FREAKS ME OUT! You think that no one can hear you, are you kidding me, our walls are attached! Our bedroom windows face each other! You even scared my big tall Italian friend Gustavo (now I didn't think that was possible)!
2. Your music is too loud...or is that music! That banging sound coming from your stereo is purely obnoxious, especially on Saturday morning which is the ONLY day of the week we can sleep past 5:20am!
3. You come home with 1 dog, great I am ok with that even though I am NOT A FAN of Weiner Dogs. Then you come home with another dog, the same breed. Now, it's not that I care about your dogs (I have one I want to get rid of myself), it's that you have taken on the same tone and sounds of the dogs from 10pm till my husband, some other neighbor has to ask you to SHUT UP KINDLY! Seriously do you believe that your dog noises aren't being heard by others, AGAIN TOUCHING WALLS!
4. You BROUGHT HOME 2 MORE DOGS...are you INSANE!?!? Now, you decide that while you are doing your Alteration THING at Nordstroms that the dogs can no longer be kept inside so you put them outside ALL DAY AND ALL NIGHT! They bark non-stop, they bark to bark, not just at a passerby or something to bark at, they bark NON-STOP! Now, you were warned about this by the Association, did you make any changes NO! I HATE YOUR DOGS! Now FYI...again I am looking for a good home for my dog, can I place an ad for yours also? PLEASE!
5. You sound just like a dog, your voice doesn't even sound human! I dread the nights you get home after 11pm because you talk, act and sound like a dog! You play and run around with those dogs ALL night! I of all people understand not being able to sleep at night but I DON'T keep my family up and play with my dog all night! I really think you are WHACKED!
6. You bring in your flavor of the month and they leave their trash on top of my trash cans on trash day. Big deal, I know...but they shop at all the stores I am dying to shop at but can't afford! Seriously what can your male friends be shopping for at BEBE? I realize that this is my jealousy problem but I thought I would add it to my letter since I am SO flipping angry with you right now!

So, those are just a few things to chew on while I sit here on my day off contemplating my next move to get rid of your dogs and music. I am a nice lady and we are a nice family but you are making me think of things to do to you and your dogs that I shouldn't be thinking of! We are Christians and I want to be forgiven for my thoughts but seriously they consume me because of the barking going on in my head RIGHT THIS MINUTE!

So basically what I am trying to say is: SHUT UP!

Sincerely your neighbor,

ME

Today my husband and I were talking about going away together. We need sometime alone, we crave it and beg for it. We have come to realize that having the 2 teens in the house makes it harder for us to do that. First of all we have lost our "built-in" sitters, they have a life now! Second of all, they have so many places to be, things to do that we have to work with them and around them, and third our schedules are so opposite with him being in retail and me working at church.
We have been given free rooms at the St. Regis in Monarch Beach, we have been given free rooms at the California Grand at Disneyland and we have TONS of gift certificates for restaurants that we could use. So basically, this could be a free vacation minus the paying a sitter to help with the kids!
HERE IS THE PROBLEM...we can't seem to find the time or when we have the time the kids need us! I know, I know, we gave birth to them and we knew what we were getting into but a break together would be awesome! We looked and looked at our schedules and until after the 1st of the year we can't do it! I am boo-hoo'ing like crazy and being a BIG baby about it but I HOPE and pray that we can find the time after January 1!
(Now I know, I am sounding selfish...I do love my kids a ton...it's just venting, thanks for letting me)!

Heather McTaggart
The wife of an amazing, funny, incredible man! The mother of 3 God loving amazing young persons!

- -

• Guess where I am....
• Did I disappear...honestly YES!
• Because she is......
• Favorite part of my day...
• Sad, mad, frustrated...it's all in the bag for today!
• HOME SWEET HOME!
• Moving has begun...
• Mother's Day...is a beautiful thing!
• Cassandra made me do it...
• HELP...is needed!

• April 2007
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Shopping

• Carlsbad Outlets
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Movies

• Christmas Movies
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