Shoe Fetish

Monday, March 10, 2008

Eye openers...right before our eyes...

As our daughter has ventured into a life of more freedom we have come to realize quite a bit about us, our children and our guidance. First of all, she LOVES to be "on the go" and that is not something we are used to but we attempt to give her wings to fly. We love watching her fly BUT have a few wonders about how well we have done in the Christian influence area. We do have a few rules when she goes out, we ask the usuals, where are you going, when will you be home, who is going with you? We do have a set curfew because of the DMV requirements right now. 10pm on weekends (our rule), 11pm on weekends (DMV rule), one for one right? Also the "who are you going with?" question is difficult, as we don't want to "pick" her friends, we want to "guide" her friendships and also give her an oppportunity to share her faith and invite her non-believing friends to her church activities and services. I feel this is where we are not challenging her. I hear a distinct difference in her tone when she is sharing time with her "church" friends and her "school" friends. While she thrives to be a leader at church she doesn't want to fall into the clique's that are SO strong there. This keeps her from inviting her school friends to church, I am not sure why. She is a leader at Christian Bible Club at school yet hangs with students who aren't part of that club but WON'T bring them to church. Have we not taught her how to share both lives with one another? Have we not given her the wings and strength to mesh both worlds? We need to work on this! We need to find a way for her to be comfortable enough to mesh both worlds as she ventures out. We need to figure out why she is not entirely comfortable in both of these worlds to not step out, even at church. I understand the "clique" thing as we have taught against this but it has held her back a little. We invite TONS of kids to our beach home every summer, will she invite each diverse group at the same time? I don't think so unless we teach her or help her find her place that she is not entirely comfortable but challenged enough in her faith. We will work on this...not quite sure how, but we will.
There have been MORE eye openers this last year as she grows bigger wings than we ever had anticipated! I thought those first years of that we were parents we learned a ton...NOT EVEN CLOSE! The kicker is we have 2 more kids to learn with...at least Kelly has a better chance at having seasoned parents!

link | posted by Heather McTaggart at 10:09 PM

2 comments

2 Comments:

Julie Hibbard had this to say:: Hmmm...I read this twice, first as a parent and then as just me.
As a parent, I see Holly really trying to figure out who SHE is. Being around these different people, different groups could HELP her to see who and what she REALLY believes! (God loves when we question...he has the answers!)
The second time I read it, I thought;'This really never changes". I don't have "church friends" and "non-church friends", but I have TONS of friends who, I guess COULD be catagorized this way. I have a lot of friends that I would NEVER invite to church. (Mostly I am thinking of all my highschool girlfriends who I LOVE!) BUT, they know ME. They know that I love Jesus. They know who I really am...and I know them. I guess, at nearly 45, I live who I am around them and hope, perhaps they want to go to church sometime. I would not "mix" them with my other friends either. Not because they are "christian" or not christian. Just because the conversation would be impossible for anyone who did not grow up with us to enjoy! Holly is at a point where she will be able to be the shining person in these groups. They may find HER attractive because of her love for Jesus!
What I think needs to be encouraged with Holly is for her to be finding out the CORE of who she really is. OFTEN, being around "non church friends" or "different church" friends is a good way. Talk with her when she gets home about how she feels with these people. And encourage her to always stand up for what she believes in! She will, but she will need that chance to question. It's the only way to be sure you really believe what your parents have said all these years!
One last thing. i went 12 years of Catholic school. NEVER did i ever have a friend who was NOT Catholic. Then, I met William at work. I had just turned 17. I was so attracted to him. He didn't even believe in God! (I had never heard of that!) I had no basis of WHY I believe WHAT I believed. I had no confidence in what I had been taught. I had never had to defend it.
His indifference to God was very attractive.
I remembered this the WHOLE time I was raising my kids. I wanted them to KNOW that there were lots of NICE other people with other thoughts in the world. And, we had to know WHY we believed what we did so we could defend it and REALLY believe it and stand up for it and really BE it and LIVE it.
TOO long again!
love you; March 11, 2008 at 6:51 AM
Heather McTaggart had this to say:: Your words of wisdom are so comforting and helpful! I love that you see me as a parent but as a teachable parent and your advice helps me work that! I love that you read this blog as a parent then as "Julie" because you see it through my eyes and Holly's! That is so comforting to me to know that you care enough to take the time to walk me through the journey of "letting go" and "letting God" grow my daughter into the amazing woman she is and will be! I LOVE JULIE HIBBARD advice...YOU ARE THE BOMB!; March 12, 2008 at 6:26 PM