My daughter and I are going to New York in April. When I asked her if she wanted to join us on this "Purpose Driven" trip she jumped at the chance. I thought it was so great that she wanted to "step up" and venture into this avenue in her spiritual growth. I quickly realized...she is STILL a teen with a heart for a boy!
Here is the story, her "friend" goes to school in New York at a college preparatory academy. She asks me if I think she could stay a couple of extra days and visit this "friend." Really I have no problem with this, then I realize the reality of the issue. Not only would I be leaving her in NEW YORK as a 17 year old girl, she would need a hotel room and transportation to and from the campus hoping her "friend" could make time in between classes (keeping in mind her "friend" is NOT allowed to leave the campus during the school week). This doesn't seem like a sensible extension of our trip. Keeping in mind the cost of an 8th grade girl going to DC needing extra spending money (hoping for $100, thank you LINDA), I am thinking that this sounds like a "costly" mistake and for lack of better words....
NO NO NO!!!!
Moms....am I being unreasonalbe? I haven't passed on my final answer to my daughter since she only told our boss her "real" plans! She asked for a couple extra days, no details! Does she think I am insane??? You will probably hear some crying and weeping when the answer is given no matter what part of Orange County you reside in. I hate to break her heart, but then again I REALLY LOVE HER!
PS....Julie, I added this pic ALL by myself on the MAC!
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Linda Vujnov had this to say:
NO WAY! That sounds like the perfect trip for a girl who is 20. She will have plenty of time to be grown up. If you stayed too, then I could totally see it happening. Oh, by the way, that's just my opinion.
- March 3, 2008 at 8:35 PM
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Julie Hibbard had this to say:
First off...good job on the photo posting!
Secondly, my first question is, do you know someone who lives in NYC? I am SURE that Rick and the trip planning team have a LOT of families they know there. Could Holly stay with them rather than be at a hotel? I don't think I would want to stay in NYC alone. (Kevin had it made at the Plaza...it would not be quite the same at the local Best Western.) Could they drive her and escort her while at the school?
But finally, the question really comes down to logistics. The older your children get (and Linda, mine are 23 and 25), the more the LOGIC part comes in to the decision making process. Holly is as close as you get to being an adult, and when you say "NO" it just sounds parental. I suggest you say, "Let's figure out how this could work." At least it sounds more like you are making an attempt to deal with them as an adult. You will want her to come to you for decision making advice for many years to come. The answer won't be as easy as "NO" at that point. (As in Allison going to Kenya!! Hello! My answer would be NO! That doesn't work when they are 25.)
Use this as an opportunity to talk to Holly and learn and grow as her mother and friend. The whole New York extension thing is just not logical at this point. Maybe another time.
Long story short, the answer may be "no", but the reasons behind it have to show that you care and love and support and understand. Not that you are just a bossy mother who doesn't understand. You're definitely not that.
That's my 2 cents which turned into a dime!
:)- March 4, 2008 at 11:33 AM
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PETE Di LALLO had this to say:
You DO know the answer but Julie's comment is brilliant...
but then again, what do I know?
NO!- March 4, 2008 at 1:56 PM
